In Part 1, we discussed the benefits of confidence and how we can train our minds to strengthen our confidence neuron networks. In Part 2, we will be continuing with empowering our bodies and removing saboteurs.
Let us do a quick recap of the first approach:
1. Beginning with your mind
In this phase we looked at the following:
· Controlling self-talk.
· Change one word.
· Visualize
· Be prepared.
· Follow a pre-event routine.
1. Next for your Body:
· Fitness, the obvious answer when we talk about confidence and your body. I do not think we need a ton of elaboration here. Exercise improves our mood by releasing endorphins such as dopamine and helps regulate your mood and boost your self-confidence.
· Power Poses. If you have watched Greys Anatomy, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Certain body postures and poses can change your hormones and literally make you feel more powerful and confident. All it takes is two-minutes. When we feel powerful, we are more inclined to spread out our arms and hold our heads up high, just the same as when we feel powerless, we closed ourselves up and we make ourselves small.
These poses can be reverse engineered. Instead of moving because of how we feel, we can change how we feel by the way we move or position our bodies. Two things, number one, walk tall, head up high. Secondly, take two minutes and practice a power pose. Put your hands on your hips, spread your legs, head up high, shoulders straight and be in that moment. They call this the Wonder Woman.
Wonder Woman Power Pose - image accessed from; https://www.fasthorseinc.com/blog/2017/06/harnessing-power-courage-ode-wonder-woman/
3. Lastly, reduce the number of saboteurs in our lives:
· Accept reality. Nobody can ever really be perfect. Trying to be perfect all the time can be extremely stressful, cause major anxiety and even send you into depression. While we know this, we really do, but it is still incredibly important to take a step back and remind ourselves that we do not have to be perfect. Chances are, we are the only ones who will even notice if we are not and if others cannot accept that, it is not your problem. Having said that, it is okay to strive to be better and still accept who you are.
· Check your tribe. Who do you hang around with and are they really bringing out the best side of you? This is a concept I have often thought about and I am so fortunate to have an amazing group of friends that are truly supportive, and I always leave them feeling inspired and happy. (Shout out to my beautiful girlfriends).
Unfortunately, we see it all too often where there is gossip and nasty talk around groups of people that are supposed to be friends. I get it, it is hard to cut someone loose when you have known them forever or you hang out with the same crowd, but you need to understand that while you can be friendly to someone and them to you, that may not mean that you are friends and that they have your best interests at heart. The best advice that I can give, is to know who you can trust with your deepest darkest fears and who is a girl you call when you just want to have a fun night. It is okay to separate your ‘friends’ into groups for different aspects of your life.
· Master your fear. Finally, do not let fear control your life. We have rational fear and then we have irrational fears, do not try, and tackle a rational fear because, well, that could be disastrous.
Take an irrational fear, first off, identify the fear. Then think it through, why does ‘x’ scare you? What made you fear this? Can you think of a past event where this fear emerged for the first time?
Remember, this fear is not you, you created this fear, and it is time to let it go. What is the worst possible outcome of accepting this fear, is it rational or irrational? What are the chances that this worst-case scenario would play out if you went for it? Can you accept if your worst-case came true? What would you do if it did?
If you can accept it, we can create a fearless focus. Do not empower it like we do with confidence, but rather focus on what you want as if you already have it and let your brain and those networks do the rest.
Well done, we have gone through molding our minds, empowering our bodies, and taking control of our lives. We are in control of our own destinies and as Amy Cuddy says, you can “Fake it till you become it”. You can be anything you want to be, but it is up to you to do the work and make it happen. So, let us strap on our confidence boots and take a walk through this journey together. We need to empower one another and support our fellow women, because in the end we can all be confident and successful.
Reference List:
Amy Cuddy PH.D. Ted Talk on “Your body language may shape who you are” (2012). Available at: https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are/up-next?language=en#t-1221364
Hendrie Weisinger PH.D. Article in Psychology Today on “The essence of confidence” (2015). Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/blog/thicken-your-skin/201509/the-essence-confidence
TC North PH.D. “The 12 benefits of increasing your self-confidence”. Available at: https://www.tcnorth.com/building-confidence/12-benefits-increasing-self-confidence/
TC North PH.D. “12 techniques to build self-confidence”. Available at: http://www.tcnorth.com/building-confidence/12-techniques-to-build-self-confidence/
Additional resources from TC North PH.D. on specific topics discussed in the above article:
4 Steps To Stop Negative Thinking and Build Confidence:
Changing one word can increase your confidence when performing under pressure:
How to be Confident – 30 Days to Build Massive Confidence
Lessons from Rio: Perform Your Best – Using Routines
Success Mindset – Becoming a Mindset Master
Relationship Between Self-Confidence and Perfectionism
Master Fear In 6 Easy Yet Powerful Steps
Comments